My note from The Universe (www.TUT.com) said this today:
"Look at it like this, Jeff, the more challenging your life story has been so far, the bigger the goose bumps for future generations who retell it to their kids. Who will no doubt add, "And if Jeff Robinson was able to do all that, so can you!"
We've barely just begun - "
Good to hear.
So, imagine you are laying on a blanket under an old oak in the park listening to 2 strangers talk about your life--what would you be hearing? The accomplishments you achieved? The people you touched? The money you made? The possessions you acquired? The relationships you cultivated? The chances you took? Or the risks you avoided?
Would you be proud? Touched? Inspired? Sad? Frustrated?
If you're like me, it's probably a mixed bag.
And if you're like me, your eyes may be focused to that last question: "Or the risks you avoided?"
What message, then, do we send ourselves when we avoid taking a risk? Yes, we get busy, we get tired, money is tight, there is a recession, my 401K is dwindling, the locusts are coming.......
But what is the more subtle message? Could it be that we have been somehow conditioned to avoid rather than face life head-on (to live life ALMOST in the moment). Could it be that we have been conditioned to learn that any sort of conflict is a danger to us? That if we dare become near to it, then we risk something close to a cataclysm?
And...if we do peak around the corner of that risk and dare to dream for a mili-moment, are we then faced with the prospect of failure, and the eventual (and this is dramatic) destruction of ourself? So we do what is comfortable, and crawl back into our safe zone.
No risk=No threat to myself. Simple. And known.
THE 2-STEP
There are many parts of me that I consider pretty fearless. I am pretty confident in my business skills and feel confident in what I have created and what has yet to be created. I am confident in my ability to size people up and to determine whether or not they are "good" for me. I am pretty confident with speaking up for myself and getting my needs met.
Where I have discovered my fear is alive and well is in my physical realm. There will be a later and lengthier blog on this, but during a recent session with my trainer at the gym, one of the routines was to hold 10 pound weights in each hand and take the steps up 2 at a time for 5 reps. Normally--let me correct myself--back in 2005--I would have done that with ease.
But pre- and post-hip surgery, I became very unsure of myself--"Can I do this?" "What will I look like to others in the gym--will I be wobbly?" "I am going to look unsure of myself."
The message my brain was sending to my leg, my soul, my psyche, the Universe, was:
"IF YOU CANNOT DO THIS PERFECTLY, THEN DO NOT DO IT AT ALL."
I must have looked down at my right leg for a good 2 minutes and up at those stairs for another 2. I had visions of my hip popping out of its socket, EMS being called, having to go back to The Hospital for Joint Diseases and trying to explain to my surgeon what happened. And then, I would be bed-ridden for another month. James Caan, MISERY, redux.
"Fuck it." I grabbed the 2 weights, hiked my stronger left leg up to the 2nd step first and followed with the more challenged right one. And then the right leg took the risk and swung up the 2 steps--shakily--but it made it. And I did that all the way to the top. And 4 more times. And later in the workout, 4 more times after that.
If there was a moment for me--that was mine. It wasn't perfect. I won no awards that day. No one, albeit Josh, congratulated me on my accomplishment. That was appreciated, of course, but I KNEW that I did something huge that day and THAT gave me goose bumps.
Go get some goose bumps today! You deserve it.
