| Well, it's June in New York and this great city is covered in rainbows. And for the most part, it's really a non-event. The way it should be......but elsewhere.... (can you hear the ominous music?) In the Great City of Richmond:  "The Federal Reserve Bank of Richmond ran a rainbow flag up its flagpole last week and has been hearing about it ever since. From conservative groups who are outraged. From gay rights groups who are pleased. And from state lawmakers on both sides who just cannot seem to stop talking about it. The bank unfurled the flag on June 1, at the request of a group of gay and lesbian employees in honor of gay pride month. One day later, Bob Marshall, a Republican in the House of Delegates and an outspoken opponent on gay rights issues, was moved to write a letter to the bank's president, saying that the flag was inappropriate for a quasi-governmental entity. "Dear President [Jeffrey M.] Lacker," wrote state Delegate Bob Marshall, "Flying the homosexual flag just under the American flag outside Richmond's Federal Reserve Bank building is a serious deficiency of judgment by your organization." Gay and lesbian "behavior," he wrote, "undermines the American economy, shortens lives, adds significantly to illness, increases health costs, promotes venereal diseases," among other things." (for more of the story, click here http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/11/us/11flag.html) Oh, Bob, get a life. Go to the movies. Stop watching Sarah, and Glenn and Ann, and Pat and....my God--there's so many. Get yourself educated. Get a date. So, let me lose myself in Lady Gaga for a moment: I'm beautiful in my way ‘Cause God makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way. This is all kind of cool. Although 70% of The Rivers Flow practice serves the GLBT community, I've had so many straight clients reference this song in their sessions with me, underscoring the fact that this message is , indeed, universal. And that gives me a smile. Part of the challenge with serving the LGBT community is having a clinical staff that understands, empathizes and identifies with the struggle, the process, the journey and has an idea of how the story should end. We can look at the Bob Marshalls' of the world and shake our heads with amazement and disgust. But, unfortunately, there is at least 1 Bob in every GLBT client. Someone who said ‘you weren't good enough, smart enough, normal enough.' And as clinicians, it is our job to reign Bob in, take away his power, and help our clients understand that God (or some other entity) makes no mistakes. But that Bob sometimes lingers like a pesky fly buzzing around your head on a hot, humid New York City afternoon. I've had my Bob moments. Those days when I don't feel as confident, as sure of myself, as emboldened. And this could be related to lack of sleep, exercise, or some stress in my relationships--personal or professional. Or maybe I'm just not regular. But like an actor, we sometimes need to act "as if". There are those days when I need to fight and force myself to show up. It's not easy, it can be exhausting, but it's worth it in the end. So if it is forcing myself to go for a run, or a hard workout, or have a quiet moment to lessen the noise in my head, I will do it. And for me, music is the perfect remedy. It may not be a Lady Gaga song, it may be a Motown song, it maybe (forgive me) a showtune. Whatever, genre or artist, if I find something to connect with that will lift me up, give me some confidence and hope, then I know I will be okay. Now, as far as Bob goes--there's always going to be a Bob. And I don't know if that is necessarily a bad thing. If it weren't for Bob, then would we ever feel fully empowered? Would we keep fighting? Or would we get lazy? I don't know. Happy Pride. Be safe. Be well. Words for thought : "How does religion play into your personal or professional therapy? We love religion in therapy, but how do we love religion when we, or our clients, blame -- "God." Become our fan and see our page on Facebook: Follow us on Twitter: |
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Happy Pride Month! ...for some.
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2 comments:
It is unfortunate that there are so many Bob Marshalls in the world. An individual with motivation, determination, passion, and most importantly, courage, should never be told that he or she is never going to amount to what they have hoped and dreamed for. This is universal for anybody, not just someone who falls into the GLBT category. Unfortunately, no matter how many doors we hold open behind us for strangers or how much money we give to charities, there will still be Bobs in this world. What it seems like your practice does is to change these negative aspects of how Bob is affecting the client and turn the negatives into something positive- such as motivation. The ability to change an individual’s thinking from “He doesn’t believe in me, so I can’t.” to “He doesn’t believe in me, so I am going to prove him wrong and shine.” is something very special and meaningful to more people than you know. My hat goes off to your practice for caring so much and reaching out- your motivational words are appreciated more than you know.
This was a great post to wake up to on a Monday morning. Very inspiring and filled with hope and empathy. Thank you!
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